Dear Tolerated Darkness.

Dear Youth of colour!


Darken your lips with the language and culture of your mother.
Fill your mind with the wisdom and knowledge of your father.
Realise that the world is changing and you are in it.
Alter for survival but do not lose yourself.

Create principles and abide by them.
Know your history, remember your past.
Make life an expedition for priceless gifts.
Live for a bigger purpose, conquer your quest.
Empathise upon the pain of your elders.
Realise the price of their struggles.
Freedom for you and your siblings.
A paradise just for your existence...
Let logic dictate and decide your fate,
Become the underdog that grew to prominence.
Make yourself substantial, become someone of relevance.
Build a character formed of ethical elements.
Create a legacy that outlives your breathe and
Become a common name in role model examples.

Youth of color...

Black girl...
black boy...
Utilise your abilities.
Take your opportunities.
Affirmative Action
Black Economic Empowerment
These are your policies...
Take plight in your growth.
Learn the love for reading
Open your eyes
Take cognisance of the world's perils.
Live beyond disaster and tell the story of hope.
Breathe victory young one
Live, ascend soar
And be woke..

Yes you youth of colour.

The Enigmas of the known.

If life is only getting better aren't the skinny supposed to be getting fatter.
The fat supposedly slimmer.
Aren't the stupid supposed to be getting smarter.
And the smarter finally practical.

If this world is only getting better shouldn't the killing have ended a long time ago.
Shouldn't  rape be non existent and shouldn't we all not have to pay to have sex.
Yes shouldn't  prostitution become of the past.                                
If this world is only getting better then why is the darkness of my complexion still associated with violence.
Why is he who is of white skin more privileged in almost all aspects of life than I am.
Why can I not jog freely at 2am in Katutura without being jumped.
 Why can I not jog into  hochland park without being taken for a robber.

If this world is only becoming better than why do I not see and only see the girl of my dreams in my eyes. One  with all the perfection I could ever want. No lies
Why do I feel envy, jealousy ,rage and sadness if this utopia was promised to be a better place I also ask myself.
If this world is becoming a better place then why do the graduates sit home nursing their degrees waiting endlessly for jobs to feed those qualifications.
Why do we sit in class hoping to get an education that is not passing through Mike's head because Mike is practical and is better with his hands.
Why do we suffer as such.      
Why are we still slaves to systems and subjects to soviergn  that only exploit us to their benefit.. why?

Oh why..

I think it is because  

In spite of all the evils earth boasts.
We are the biggest optimists and we still hope.
We hope that all will be well we pray never to be hungry sick or broken hearted again.
We have hope that tomorrow brings us closer to paradise and that perfect is what we become when we go there.
We hope that all the pain will eventually fade away in time.
We hope that hearts will heal and wounds will turn into scars
Reminders that we survived.. that we did not give up.
And that is why we believe that today is a better day.
Because we are alive and the cost of living is priceless.

2015!!

This is the last piece of writing I wrote in 2015, please read it with an open mind.

I’m not sure if I am blessed or cursed but this year brought about 50 shades of everything.

January came as usual, always gloomy,

 More so because I had to go to varsity

Start a life and learn to survive in the city

Make some friends but never to forget homes teachings.

I had subliminal echoes to be satisfied with what I got from my parents

And never to forget to fight for the education that was to curb my struggles

February had its usual flare of love

I bought a rose for a girl I was hoping to make my valentine

But the day came and I had no one to call mine

The rose died but since I had no attachments I was fine

This was also my birth month but on that day I am never happy

I thought of the life I could have if my father had still been,

So for that day I remained indoors and unseen.

March was a month in which I was acclimatizing to my setting

Getting to meet people and finding my bearing.

Law school was in full swing and the assignments were headaches

But I never gave in for I had to attain my personal goals and objectives

Oh I also met a girl on one of the social networks

Facebook it was, and upon physical sight she made my world spin.

April’s first I was no one’s fool,

Though I saw pranks, some funny, some silly others plain cruel

I laughed at some, yes those that were cool

The girl I met by this time we were talking,

Staying up late till early in the morning

We vibed on the same frequency,

We had a connection

And as the month went by

For her I grew affection.

May approached and it was time to go home

I missed the salty smell of the air that was always there

The cold that would had me wishing I had the company of the girl I met in March

The very one I came to think stole my heart

How not if she was flawlessly made and also smart

Could I hope for us ever in mind to part

June and July were the months that broke my heart

Because as the days came faster

Her and I we became distant

We grew further apart

Her into her problems

And I into trying to perfect myself for her happiness which she had no clear definition of.

August saw me becoming more social

Forgetting my heartache, believing it to be trivial

I became outgoing, surfing the chill spots

Looking for all the girls I deemed to be hot

Drowning my pain in random kisses and interactions

This was a month were pain and hate justified my actions

September saw me meet lady number two

A matriculant with a mind of the first one too

A listener, with a painstaking body

Inquisitive, sassy but also a lady

It saw me go home a change man this time

New demeanor, new mindset and vibe

Devils urine had consumed me

Or at least that is what seemed the status quo to be

October showed that I was not failing

Neither to my potential was I excelling

The money finished faster as the budget was wider

Food, transport. Rent and girls ciders

I became a fuckboy

I sold dreams, but I was always nice or to me it seemed

The girls like me and my take was always mutual

As long as she was good looking and smart

I had no intention stopping that which was to start

November jumped on to me in disguise of a surprise

Dragging along the dread of finals.

I had to study, reserved all the time for myself

I did my part and studied the years’ work

Did as controversially as I had to relocate

Moved in with a cousin, death to my life or so I thought.

Completed my exams and stayed for work

You see February saw me becoming a radio personality

That’s when I realized for the door to my success only I had the key.

I felt pride because as time passed this statement became fact

The month ended and I finally had to go Home.

The coast welcomed me for the Friday of months

December was lit, and all songs being played in Walvis bays streets were hits

The vibe was welcoming the people were familiar

I was glad I was finally here.

For half a week I travelled and the north saw me

Shortly for a wedding and because the drinks there were free

Hit a U-turn for coasting and continued thriving

Relations at home lost point and communication went dark

There was no light of peace, not even a spark

In the last days, I quit drinking

Wrote myself an ode for temptation reference and to it I will keep returning

If my desire for alcohol continues burning

The year was stolen from us in memories that are cherished

By a thief that made sure it seemed brief

Who we met that is special may we keep and when tomorrow comes

May 2016 bring more of those that will assure we will have no nightmares in our sleep

Goodbye 2015

Welcome 2015 part 2

The Truth In Typed Cursive.!

Dear, Friend, Foe, Ally and Lover of Reading

For the love of the super power that rules the heavens i am appealing for you to be considerate please. be a better you this year, yes it's this BS again, but bear in mind that this is important.

Some of you lead on people while perfectly knowing that you will end up breaking the persons heart after awhile, but you also know that you could have prevented that. Imagine a person you like letting you fall for them just to tell you " nah fam you have got zero chance". Be a person and not some heartless monster, also do not allow your time to be wasted be it dramatic, tell the person how you feel about being a bitch on demand and move on

Times change ey, do not be ruled by looks this is one thing most young girls still fail to understand, he is only handsome that far, and what about ambitions, goals a future, a will to succeed. Does he have that?, if you allow yourself to fall in a trap laid by someone that has no vision both of you will one day find yourselves on a crash and burn mission in the far future. yes you choose who you love but things are changing now, invest in someone that you know will be there for you in every way, maybe not now, but one day, believe.

People that have situations with their ex's, set the record straight, it might be ya'll are just talking but there is always one who eventually always wants the other back again. Don't put a person through that same pain that came from the separation no more, tell them the 411 and move on, if there is hope, let it be known, if there is none, still likewise. You might be meant for one another if you have been through a lot together and believe me you starting over with someone new is not easy, having to retell secrets, make new memories, create new special words, just start that road from the starting line once more, it is just not the same and it takes time and effort plus with every little heartbreak the ability to love fully is diminished a little more. So define your boundaries with your people if it can happen give one another that little hope that someday maybe BUT if you are done then so be it again.

Choose what you know is best for you. If it means leaving some people in the previous year do it. Do not have unnecessary contacts in your phone book if they are just there to add to the numbers, if someone does not vibrate on the same frequency as you, make peace with that and move on, you were not created to live in every individual you see or knows life. God created people for you just like he created your special person, do not force situations, let go and be emancipated from the worry of "but why does she/he or they not like me, understand that you cannot be everybody's favourite you are your own person,concentrate on making yourself an amplified upgraded version, eg if you were David last year this your make yourself DavidS like the iphone. Walk with people that know that you on about an make sure you achieve ad hoc.

That bad habit, be it smoking drinking, too much sex, disobedience,pride or whatever it is. Make changes with who you are and let go of what you subliminally know does not build you. Grow from your despair and thrive to slay. Leave behind what you know holds you back, that which stains your reputation, makes you a blacksheep. If it can be changed by you, alter it and modify yourself to be a person you can look up to, be your own icon, craft your own role model in your image, Very few situation give you happiness like the joy to be derived from achieving what other people say you can't or will never do. And ey if 3 beers get you drunk drink 2, if going out every weekend makes you broke real fast, go out once or twice a month. With the correct willpower those unwanted bad habits or guilty pleasures can become history, the change starts with you.

Yes it was long but congratulations if you reached this point, i cannot make you do as above mentioned but I hope what sunk in sunk deep. Try to live according to what you deem is righteous and good, you can have fun but do not lose yourself in the process, never forget who you are, where you come from and where you hope one day to be.

IF EARTH GAVE IN TO OBLIVION AND ENDED!!

I have so much to achieve still but believe me, I have lived. If the world stopped spinning the clock stopped ticking and time froze to signal the end. I would be happy I would be free of the chains of life that I like many others have been tied with.

Earlier I said I have not achieved much yet, and true I have not, but the only actual thing I really want to achieve is instilling pride in the lives of those that have helped me grow from my despair and those that have made me the individual I am today, if that happens and I was given an “end the world button to keep” do not be mistaken because I could press it any day for I have lived with no regrets and done to the peak of my abilities. You wonder, why he is not afraid of death, I am not afraid because all of this might just disappear someday…  I am not afraid because I have thought it, and accepted it long before you started questioning existence. Oh I have also lived for not so long but I surely have a lifetime’s story to tell with the chapters I have written in my time of existence.

I am not afraid of the end. I have had the love of a woman, so strong, passionate, that love that makes you think of everything that surrounds you with a subliminal reflection of her. I have gone to bed thinking of her and waking up to the memory and hope that she is fine just as she was when I was dreaming of her and her painstaking beauty. I have held her in her time of grief wiped away the tears as she shivered and cried all at once to days that were dark. I have kissed slowly, deeply and finally created a personal description for the taste of skin that is part of why I am not afraid for the world to end. I have enjoyed the company of a woman, of women too. I know how it feels like to be heartbroken, it first happened in the 4^th grade, I can still recall how she never loved me enough but she liked my friend because he had a cooler bag, lunchbox and pencil case, but at that time only some would understand that the heart wants what it wants and it chooses what to deem beautiful and that time to her, that was of desire. I have conquered and broken hearts, ignited feelings in women, I have lived to be the potential comparable suitor of many and in the short infinities I became that, but it did not last. What change can the future bring that I have not seen with my experience with women. That is why I say I am not afraid.

I have been rebellious. I have taken so many risks I fail to count the number of times my hotheadedness has left me with no friends or with scorn from society on both my hands. Countless times I have been a patron of trouble, the host for mischief and the conceiver of controversial brainchildren. I remember a time in my 2 decade life when I refused to stand down from a fight that was lost from the beginning, what was I thinking going against a set of twins twice my height? I got the majestic beating that day, but I put in my scores on the data sheet as well. My hard headedness has seen admiration grow for me from some and others bred loathe for me, It still did not stop me from always taking the other direction when everybody follow the instructed right. I always took left, I guess it all started after I learned that I learn best from my own mistakes and people are snakes that will strike to the best of their convenience even if that may result in your downfall, it is you and not them so the matter becomes of little consequence. I have always been the black sheep in every class society has thrown me, whether it is for the greater good, or if I was prime evil, I was always and will in some cases still be public enemy number one. If I have lived life on the down side, I am not afraid of the end you see.

I have been productive. With reference to the system that dictates that you need it to succeed I am in line though with obstacles here and there, I have managed to still be an academic and excel in with the education game. This system that forces us to think in a certain way I have taken by the neck and dragged through the sand in show of my victory dance, in spite of all the hardships I have faced over time I have emerged a warrior, though punished, not defeated. I have made associations with people whose minds vibrate on synonymous frequencies as mine. People with a passion for things that ignite my inner child, maybe there are more out there but for now I am content and if I must go happy I will for I had the chance to be a part of a world that boasted so many gifted individuals.

Ultimately, if the world were to end today, I would be satisfied with what I have done, maybe not happy with how I have lived but I walked my own path I painted my own portrait sang my own song, so I am happy, conclusively of the future to come that shall still see the earth, may you allow me to see more priceless sights, and give me memories I can take to the next life that is promised, so I may say I lived, I had joy and I Conquered. The end might just be near, think to yourself, how would you feel if a Higher power told you it is near, what would you do that you did not DO?.

Pouring Out The Devils Juice!

Ever since the month started I have been on a roller coaster of enjoyment, a merry-go-round of alcohol consumption, unquenched lust and a thirst for so so many social evils. This I have been doing  with a devil may care attitude that has gotten me nowhere in the good books of those closest to me, at home they think I am turning out to be nothing better than someone very close to me that was consumed by the liquor and subsequently ruined by it. I on the other hand tell myself, it is only a phase I convince myself that I will get over it and in so doing it will be one of those things I can casually talk about in conversations for the far future, “I once did that too, and it did not pay” conversations to heed and lead the young to a better path, advice for the youth, wisdom to the ones that wish to learn.

Slowly but surely I realize that I have been telling myself this lie so long it has started feeling like the truth. I can handle the drinking, the smoking, I can handle the thriving, but can I? Can I really? No I can’t man, not even a little, my body was never engineered to take in alcohol, I’m what you call a light head, a couple of beers, a glass of two of something to scratch the throat, something that will make you squint your eyes and believe me you, I am out like a bulb, The very bulb that Tomas Edison brought light to. How do I know it is a lie, everything I always convince myself of is a lie, I know because I can never get myself to really commit a 100 percent to the cause of leaving alcohol, I can never subliminally vow to not drink anymore, all I do is hope that I don’t get drunk when I’m sober and wake up the next day with a throbbing migraine and no memory after the drink that got me drunk. I am susceptible to this, I am a slave to the drink, will I ever be freed? I want to be freed. So bad,

I want to be freed because now I live in a shattered home. The source of my food intake, and income wills not to speak to me for I have done her wrong so many times that if I could count, not even the tally of an abacus would quantify the measure of how many times I have disappointed. I tell myself next year will come and I will go back to Windhoek, become a better person, study harder leave the drink but I always have the demoralizing voice telling me, shit, ‘you gon keep drinking until you drop’. That is not what I want because I am being an embarrassment for all the things I stand for when sober, I am no contrary to a Pentecostal pastor that does not practice what they preach, ruined from the beginning. Home is no longer the same because instead of accepting one another, we tolerate one another now, look at each other in eye corners and under our breathes  we mutter words sharp enough to make the devils skin cringe. I do not want it to be this way not now.

Society has almost labelled me a CERTIFIED ALCOHOLIC by now. The things I do when drunk, the words I say, the people I talk to, the memories of last night that I never have. Those humiliating moments that society conserves to upload on social media for a laugh about how crazy a chill or a thrive was, even if these updates are at the expense of reputations or one, that is mine. These defining events that carve you out as what you become when drunk and not sober, the number of times you let your gentleman bar fall because of how you lose coordination when drunk. These will always be factors that society will associate to who I am because I am who I am when drunk. Alas see,  it is not who I want to be, I want to be much greater than a guy behind a beer, or that bottle of Jack I want to be an example to the kids that I can make it with having to drunk myself into oblivion but quite that path.

So this is what I am going to do, not try but do. I will no longer smoke, anything other than hookah, I will not consume alcohol, it is even expensive and it does not build, looking for greener pastures is never good with a tainted vision. I have to be focused, I will chill I will thrive but may the power of energy drinks be enough a high for me to thrive. You change you don’t remain the same, and that is what I plan to enforce here today, upon the principles that guide me to a better tomorrow, upon God who shall be my only witness but most supreme in ruling, I will get out of this I will no longer be the alcoholic disgrace, that I have been for the past couple of years. It is too much and I just cannot anymore, I have lost so much and brought about mountain loads of controversy and truth be told I am tired of the spotlight, I am tired of being  the center of attraction for laughs, puns and slurs about how bad I am when drunk.

I will not go to waste, I shall not deteriorate with the dust that will become of alcohol close to me, I will rise and so as to conquer the empire of my life, I will slay thrive and become a person that will say “alcohol almost ruined me, but I did not allow it to”.

Stay safe.

The Superiority Of An Inferior Mind...

When we allow other people to have a hand in decision making that concerns us, at times it can be more of a disadvantage than an advantage.

When we are easily won over by well articulated phrases meant only to exploit our inner beings, we become blind to the truth.

When our minds are filled with ideologies and concepts that are only assumptions and not proven facts,we become puppets too other people as well.

The aspect of influence in all the above-mentioned points manages only to show itself at times when our psychological states are susceptible to any piece of information, whether true or false.

A weak mind takes in without contemplating positive alternatives to a tale, without thought of better conclusions to foul ended problems.

A weak mind is naked too because the specific person is question has become insecure, either to the account of hurt over a long period of time or in the sake of the fact that rumours have spread thus what they hear, they automatically deem as true.

The average human mind is prone to taking in and responding more to negativity by believing and expecting the worst.

That is why when a certain piece of bad news leaks one becomes agitated and forthcoming to it.

Influence changes us, the things we hear make us change our ways.

How?

It modifies the system of our living in fear of being criticized, say for example close friends all turn against you for dating a specific guy or the shun you for not ding something they do.

The most likely outcome is you dumping  your partner or doing what they are doing leaving you personally infuriated, heartbroken, polluted yet fearing to be pointed at, thus you tell yourself you have done the right thing.
The factors that influence our decisions.
These are factors we should monitor closely and before we conclude, try to visualize the outcome of your influenced decision.
If ultimately it leaves you in a wretched state, reconsider immediately.
Jealousy, greed and envy are convenient motives for others to try swaying you.
Develop a strong sense of believing in your ability of rightful judgement and carve your mind from the direction of a gullible nature.
Filter with caution, absorb with precise thought.
 Do not rush into decisions, take your time.
Do not resolve to  impress or to try and change other people's minds.
In so doing you are creating more for them to speak of.
Keep your mind straight
Don't fall for what is not beneficial
Ignore the blasphemous
And only then will you learn of the acceptance of appropriate and positive influence.
Most of all,
Develop in your mind a psychological sieve that takes in the deserving and discards the crude unneeded elements.

Remould the Superiority of your Inferior mind.