The first time i saw you, I remember.
I remember I told myself I would have you
These were words spoken in vain
Words led by illicit desires only
Desires, immoral, unethical and inconsiderate
Desires to prove to my alter ego that I can have whoever i want.
I approached you, spoke to you.
I charmed you.
Unfortunately that was not enough!
It was not enough to make you grant me what i wanted best for my ego.
An affirmative...
A yes...
No sentiments were present in the beginning.
If there were any, I noticed them nor felt them not.
For your physical being is all i required.
All i wanted.
I failed,
You never gave me the yes i so hoped for.
Never brought me as closed to having you as i imagined.
My pride was damaged.
My masculine demeanor forced me to continue trying to get you an every time i failed
I retreated to come back another day.
Failure taught me nothing, it only made me bitter.
I was still not getting you...
It has been well over a year now
And i still haven't given up,
Time has transformed my thoughts.
I no longer want you to prove a point
Or to fulfill my past devious desires.
My yearning has turned genuine.
Time has transfigured crazy infatuation into gentle love.
I wish only to have you as a better half now
To have you assist and keep me going whenever I can not.
I have seen past your ineffable beauty now..
I have spoken to your heart,
Written you essays and odes of proposals,
I've heard you speak at your weakest
Laugh in your joy
Sulk in your pain and I am still around.
Now more than ever
I want to be a part of you.
I am sorry my manly desires would not let me see beyond at first
But now that I do.
Deny me no more
Cause me no more sleepless nights
Torture my thoughts with ''wait till hell freezes over'' not one more day...
I know i began in a fashion that is alien to good but i have learned my fault.
I am for you for I seek change,
I seek one to better me.
You shake your head and say you're not the one I need
But I like an accountant, have calculated, articulated, and analysed
Every possible effect of my quest and
In the end I still get this
WITH YOU I WOULD BE COMPLETE
It's sad
I don't have you because
I'm still chasing and
You are still running....
