A December story.

I turned around and at a place where once was no one, you were there
Black clothes blue hair bright smile
And in my drunken state I told myself, oh yes I like your style
I watched you move to the beat,
Left and right as you displaced your feet
You were a sight to admire
The one that all these thirsty men desired
But me I didn’t thirst for you,
Believe me you I tell you it’s true
I longed only to know you
Deeper than rap
More complex than rocket science
I only wanted your compliance

To know your name..
Understand your game
In that there was no shame
Because my intentions were sincere
Not only for that night, that is why I am still here

Time was dear to me
It brought you close to me
It let me hold you for that little eternity
As I felt you sway to and fro
You fit in my arms as if you were perfectly meant for me
That night dancing gave connection a new meaning you see
Because  I felt different
I felt isolated.
From the world we were distant

But that was just for that night,
Correct me if I am wrong and tell me what’s right
Does our once become a memory only?
Do I hold on to hope that maybe one day?
Something can still come to be
Because I miss the moments we never had but could’ve.

I miss not holding you and telling you, you are special
I miss not texting you early in the morning
I miss your presence in my app
I miss all that we could be but are not

So Dear Rosy
Do not be afraid,
For somethings are better not concealed but said
I hoped by now I would know you
But there are still things about you of which I have no clue
Its true time has not been good to us
But know that I still remember
Maybe for a short infinity
But that is good enough to be a forever
A lifetime in a life
A beautiful uninfected memory
A girl I met that made an impact
Treasure to the ultimate quest
A warlord’s conquest
FAIREST OF THE FAIREST
Any man’s best

Dear Rosy...
I question my ability to miss you
But sadly the truth is that I do
May the future drive you closer to my sight
May your dark days always be conquered by light
May you until Gods will stay well
May you make memories to make stories
So future generations you can tell
May life be good to you and may you ever excel

Dear Rosy
I hope you are good

After a year....

You came as smooth as lies from licked lips
You swayed your way into my eyes with those hips..
I read your mind through those updates you posted
And I hoped to get to know you beyond 
these boundaries created.
Eventually I  approached you and damn I was baffled.
I met your mind with these eyes., saw your beauty and  
Through those networks I approached Your physique and mind I came to see.

I envisioned a future for you and me
I hope for only the best that we should be.
For little but precious time I got you attention.
I spoke to your soul I touched your spirit and captivated your mind.
We had conversations that time lost.
Little memories that filled big gaps and created paradise.
But long before I could realise
That in my falling I was losing you...

This heart was deeply entrenched in the idea of a love was true.
It was felt with the rays of the burning sun... with the taste a morning rise and that lethargy under the stars before the escapade to dreamy lands.

Because of that I didn't come across rectifying my mistakes.
You  identified them because you knew what was at stake.
A heart pure for God's liking... and righteous for the devils will to attempt  a taking.
I failed to fix my pride.
I still wasn't considerate..
Maybe a portion of my heart still held hate.

Like broken guitar strings.
Like war in war torn countries.
Your heart failed to commit.
You failed to buy the dream for a reality of a man that was broken before your entrance.
You didn't heal this fractured heart...
You that smells of angels, walks like gold and speaks with the accent of diamonds. .
With all that purity...
All that power to change...
You just gave up...

You locked your heart like the first time I met you.
Sealed the depths of your mind so I could not go through
And as paradise came in the blink of an eye.
You made your exit.
With wounded emotions torn in conflicts of staying or leaving...
But eventually taking the walk that increased the proximity between you and me.

I was left here with the invisible touch of memories made.
I could smell the scent of past beautiful moments created.
But that was now only a room in a castle empty for its queen has left.
The only woman that ever had hold of this mature heart.
You left with the morning breeze and absconded with shooting starts...
You Chose a Scarless path and
Lived up to the oath in those bars...

But until today
This man still loves you.
He acknowledges mistakes,  he accepts fault.
And as you tell him you can't change him
He recites in his mind that real love can change for sustenance.
You discard the old and start clothed in a demeanour of novel decent.
You choose to have hope in the future and discard all negativity from the recent.
Work to create the perfect relation because easy comes as does it go.
That is why struggles should make or define situations and not end them.

I told you I was a burning fire and you still came at personal risk is what you think..
You're worth it and deserving is what I think.
Inspite of all your heeding and warning to stay at arms length, I just couldn't.

Even long after I told you I was done with you.
Not a day went by in which I did not think of you.
Not a day went by in which nothing more than you're presence could please me
I longed for days in which I made you laugh.
Days in which I didn't have to be careful with what to say in fear of your wraths retribution.
Days where the existence of us was in its livings prime...

Oh Well!

Someday I hope I can fill your perfection cup.
I pray time turns you my way again.
I wish I had one more try at chance.
I plead that we will one day advance.

But for now...
As requested.

I shall live in hope of finding your  apparent suggestion of a compatible suitor.
Once more I'll try to live without your presence and hope only to eventually embrace your absence.
May I not become a let's just become friends that isn't your friend anymore.
May time grant me acceptance and that eventual new guys tolerance...

Thank you

Matters of the heart,Status Qou Analysis!.

Finding the right person these days is harder than finding a needle in a haystack.
People are so cemented in past heart breaks and bad relationship experiences that gaining  their chance for an opportunity is hard now. Everybody wants something real this is true,  but how many people actually want to risk it all again!? Nobody wants to jump into something good without being assured it's real and nobody wants to assure someone that something is really real anymore because they fear their real emotions might be the cause of their humiliation, people fear rejection (myself too).

Everybody wants to be accepted and wanted by the people they want but because of what history has written for different people it makes it hard to start on a clean slate because we are all vulnerable.
We want to tell people so badly we want to hold them, , kiss them, love them but the unfortunate reality is that some of these things will never be known by who they're meant for because these sentiments and desires are so deeply hidden  and camafloudegd by the protection of personal interests that many would rather not say.
When do we again like in the past learn to convey true emotions and find people that vibrate on our frequencies,  when again do we feel love or emotions as if it was the first time when will it be strong enough to try for?

Will this come in time and it's heavy dragging feet, will it come with the wind and it's ever sad melody, will this rise with the sun and it's burning intensity?  When will we love with no fear and finally be content without paranoia that we belong to someone and we have someone that belongs to us? When will we live without stalking our better halves for signs of soft or light infedelity on their social networks?, When will we have a love as old as history itself, when will we have a love stronger than the power of an infatuated imagination? Will we get it by holding on to who we have now, do we have to break away from who we were, from who we are with and start afresh?

So many questions I know, but I'm just wondering if the type of love that will be existent without scrutinty from third parties and even in the event that there are third parties,  I am wondering if the opinions of those parties will ever stop being of consequence. Will we ever not be influenced by the speeches and opinions of people that know nothing about us but know about us?

I believe we all deserve a person but this should be mutually exclusive to the desires  of both stakeholders in that relationship. I believe we all have the right to a person that makes us happy but for that to exist we must survive the obstacles presented to us by mordern theories that will make finding a soul mate harder such as hookup culture and Co . Once we root ourselves to the true believe that hope is a phenomenon that can help us get anything we want, maybe then will we finally be ready to pair and start something real, or else as the majority is now, either live with someone hoping for the right person to come by, be alone and wait for a time you think is right or painstakingly sculpture your present into the future you want with whoever you are with now for a better tomorrow.

Hope love and live.

Give back the real meaning to these words or live to die trying in that accord.

....
It's just a thought, a really long thought