Matters of the heart,Status Qou Analysis!.

Finding the right person these days is harder than finding a needle in a haystack.
People are so cemented in past heart breaks and bad relationship experiences that gaining  their chance for an opportunity is hard now. Everybody wants something real this is true,  but how many people actually want to risk it all again!? Nobody wants to jump into something good without being assured it's real and nobody wants to assure someone that something is really real anymore because they fear their real emotions might be the cause of their humiliation, people fear rejection (myself too).

Everybody wants to be accepted and wanted by the people they want but because of what history has written for different people it makes it hard to start on a clean slate because we are all vulnerable.
We want to tell people so badly we want to hold them, , kiss them, love them but the unfortunate reality is that some of these things will never be known by who they're meant for because these sentiments and desires are so deeply hidden  and camafloudegd by the protection of personal interests that many would rather not say.
When do we again like in the past learn to convey true emotions and find people that vibrate on our frequencies,  when again do we feel love or emotions as if it was the first time when will it be strong enough to try for?

Will this come in time and it's heavy dragging feet, will it come with the wind and it's ever sad melody, will this rise with the sun and it's burning intensity?  When will we love with no fear and finally be content without paranoia that we belong to someone and we have someone that belongs to us? When will we live without stalking our better halves for signs of soft or light infedelity on their social networks?, When will we have a love as old as history itself, when will we have a love stronger than the power of an infatuated imagination? Will we get it by holding on to who we have now, do we have to break away from who we were, from who we are with and start afresh?

So many questions I know, but I'm just wondering if the type of love that will be existent without scrutinty from third parties and even in the event that there are third parties,  I am wondering if the opinions of those parties will ever stop being of consequence. Will we ever not be influenced by the speeches and opinions of people that know nothing about us but know about us?

I believe we all deserve a person but this should be mutually exclusive to the desires  of both stakeholders in that relationship. I believe we all have the right to a person that makes us happy but for that to exist we must survive the obstacles presented to us by mordern theories that will make finding a soul mate harder such as hookup culture and Co . Once we root ourselves to the true believe that hope is a phenomenon that can help us get anything we want, maybe then will we finally be ready to pair and start something real, or else as the majority is now, either live with someone hoping for the right person to come by, be alone and wait for a time you think is right or painstakingly sculpture your present into the future you want with whoever you are with now for a better tomorrow.

Hope love and live.

Give back the real meaning to these words or live to die trying in that accord.

....
It's just a thought, a really long thought

A look inside!

Maybe the world should have been a place where people get test runs and get to live in one with was afforded for them as a second chance frome the first one earth.

Because we are so prone to mistake even when we have policies that are supposed to create retribution for the transgression of those Policies, we still commit these mistakes. Maybe with a second chance at life we would be able to rectify and affirmatively so the past life's injustices and actus bonis mores,so we may live as expected from the bigger picture, paradise. What you believe in,  where you live and how you live will determine your good morals and that in itself will prove to disapprove unwanted conduct.

So the question here today is how do you best align yourself for what's coming, how do you remain constant of honoured principles in an ever changing world's that preaches and proselytises  it's views.
How do you best remain sane and accepted by a society that has outkasted most of the minority opinion and quashed their voices so as to have a monopolistic structural supremacy setting.

Maybe in the next world, we'll live happily and have less disparities amongst  the aspect of wealth, maybe in that world, we will learn that coulour is not of consequence, maybe in that time we will be ready for what is coming.

And The end is coming.
Are you woke?

The Genesis Of A Mothers Farewell.

Today, I see you last.
I will look at you and remember my past
When I was a boy and you would still wash me
When you would tie my shoes
and I would be so enthusiastic about it
When I would cry and you would curb my pain
With pats my on my back and you would lift my shoulders
You would carry me when I cried the pain of distance
You would cover me when I cried cold
You would blow air onto my face when fever had me
That same time you would have a bucket of water and a damp cloth on my forehead
You were the one that I made to bleed.
Mother you carried  me...

Your whole life
You lived trying to please your children
Till the day of your end
For us there weren't rules you wouldn't bend
You had a dream of seeing us grow into people
People society would accept without thoughts that were crippled
Mother you gave breathe to us.
For nine months and more you carried and provided until you couldn't.
You loved us and you showed it.

Mother Mary, soon to be dust and one with nature.
We mourn your passing and remember your legacy.
We remember the tireless hours you would spend ploughing in the field.
We remember how you were always the last with the hoe to yield.
Yes
I remember your heartbreak when dad went
With these eyes that dropped tears for you.
I saw you cry and I saw beyond physique a part of you
 laid to rest, the day my father took up his grave.
I saw you stumble and I couldnt hold you firm...
My youth wouldn't let me.

Mother Mary,
One who United nations,
One who strengthened relations
One who noticed he importance of opportunities
One who understood the plight of her offspring's
You are no more.

Gone with the Wind.
Eloped with unseen time
To dust as the beginning asked
Our hearts with grief left and scarred
Your passing wounds caused
YOU ARE NO MORE.

RIP MOTHER

Dear Tolerated Darkness.

Dear Youth of colour!


Darken your lips with the language and culture of your mother.
Fill your mind with the wisdom and knowledge of your father.
Realise that the world is changing and you are in it.
Alter for survival but do not lose yourself.

Create principles and abide by them.
Know your history, remember your past.
Make life an expedition for priceless gifts.
Live for a bigger purpose, conquer your quest.
Empathise upon the pain of your elders.
Realise the price of their struggles.
Freedom for you and your siblings.
A paradise just for your existence...
Let logic dictate and decide your fate,
Become the underdog that grew to prominence.
Make yourself substantial, become someone of relevance.
Build a character formed of ethical elements.
Create a legacy that outlives your breathe and
Become a common name in role model examples.

Youth of color...

Black girl...
black boy...
Utilise your abilities.
Take your opportunities.
Affirmative Action
Black Economic Empowerment
These are your policies...
Take plight in your growth.
Learn the love for reading
Open your eyes
Take cognisance of the world's perils.
Live beyond disaster and tell the story of hope.
Breathe victory young one
Live, ascend soar
And be woke..

Yes you youth of colour.

The Enigmas of the known.

If life is only getting better aren't the skinny supposed to be getting fatter.
The fat supposedly slimmer.
Aren't the stupid supposed to be getting smarter.
And the smarter finally practical.

If this world is only getting better shouldn't the killing have ended a long time ago.
Shouldn't  rape be non existent and shouldn't we all not have to pay to have sex.
Yes shouldn't  prostitution become of the past.                                
If this world is only getting better then why is the darkness of my complexion still associated with violence.
Why is he who is of white skin more privileged in almost all aspects of life than I am.
Why can I not jog freely at 2am in Katutura without being jumped.
 Why can I not jog into  hochland park without being taken for a robber.

If this world is only becoming better than why do I not see and only see the girl of my dreams in my eyes. One  with all the perfection I could ever want. No lies
Why do I feel envy, jealousy ,rage and sadness if this utopia was promised to be a better place I also ask myself.
If this world is becoming a better place then why do the graduates sit home nursing their degrees waiting endlessly for jobs to feed those qualifications.
Why do we sit in class hoping to get an education that is not passing through Mike's head because Mike is practical and is better with his hands.
Why do we suffer as such.      
Why are we still slaves to systems and subjects to soviergn  that only exploit us to their benefit.. why?

Oh why..

I think it is because  

In spite of all the evils earth boasts.
We are the biggest optimists and we still hope.
We hope that all will be well we pray never to be hungry sick or broken hearted again.
We have hope that tomorrow brings us closer to paradise and that perfect is what we become when we go there.
We hope that all the pain will eventually fade away in time.
We hope that hearts will heal and wounds will turn into scars
Reminders that we survived.. that we did not give up.
And that is why we believe that today is a better day.
Because we are alive and the cost of living is priceless.

2015!!

This is the last piece of writing I wrote in 2015, please read it with an open mind.

I’m not sure if I am blessed or cursed but this year brought about 50 shades of everything.

January came as usual, always gloomy,

 More so because I had to go to varsity

Start a life and learn to survive in the city

Make some friends but never to forget homes teachings.

I had subliminal echoes to be satisfied with what I got from my parents

And never to forget to fight for the education that was to curb my struggles

February had its usual flare of love

I bought a rose for a girl I was hoping to make my valentine

But the day came and I had no one to call mine

The rose died but since I had no attachments I was fine

This was also my birth month but on that day I am never happy

I thought of the life I could have if my father had still been,

So for that day I remained indoors and unseen.

March was a month in which I was acclimatizing to my setting

Getting to meet people and finding my bearing.

Law school was in full swing and the assignments were headaches

But I never gave in for I had to attain my personal goals and objectives

Oh I also met a girl on one of the social networks

Facebook it was, and upon physical sight she made my world spin.

April’s first I was no one’s fool,

Though I saw pranks, some funny, some silly others plain cruel

I laughed at some, yes those that were cool

The girl I met by this time we were talking,

Staying up late till early in the morning

We vibed on the same frequency,

We had a connection

And as the month went by

For her I grew affection.

May approached and it was time to go home

I missed the salty smell of the air that was always there

The cold that would had me wishing I had the company of the girl I met in March

The very one I came to think stole my heart

How not if she was flawlessly made and also smart

Could I hope for us ever in mind to part

June and July were the months that broke my heart

Because as the days came faster

Her and I we became distant

We grew further apart

Her into her problems

And I into trying to perfect myself for her happiness which she had no clear definition of.

August saw me becoming more social

Forgetting my heartache, believing it to be trivial

I became outgoing, surfing the chill spots

Looking for all the girls I deemed to be hot

Drowning my pain in random kisses and interactions

This was a month were pain and hate justified my actions

September saw me meet lady number two

A matriculant with a mind of the first one too

A listener, with a painstaking body

Inquisitive, sassy but also a lady

It saw me go home a change man this time

New demeanor, new mindset and vibe

Devils urine had consumed me

Or at least that is what seemed the status quo to be

October showed that I was not failing

Neither to my potential was I excelling

The money finished faster as the budget was wider

Food, transport. Rent and girls ciders

I became a fuckboy

I sold dreams, but I was always nice or to me it seemed

The girls like me and my take was always mutual

As long as she was good looking and smart

I had no intention stopping that which was to start

November jumped on to me in disguise of a surprise

Dragging along the dread of finals.

I had to study, reserved all the time for myself

I did my part and studied the years’ work

Did as controversially as I had to relocate

Moved in with a cousin, death to my life or so I thought.

Completed my exams and stayed for work

You see February saw me becoming a radio personality

That’s when I realized for the door to my success only I had the key.

I felt pride because as time passed this statement became fact

The month ended and I finally had to go Home.

The coast welcomed me for the Friday of months

December was lit, and all songs being played in Walvis bays streets were hits

The vibe was welcoming the people were familiar

I was glad I was finally here.

For half a week I travelled and the north saw me

Shortly for a wedding and because the drinks there were free

Hit a U-turn for coasting and continued thriving

Relations at home lost point and communication went dark

There was no light of peace, not even a spark

In the last days, I quit drinking

Wrote myself an ode for temptation reference and to it I will keep returning

If my desire for alcohol continues burning

The year was stolen from us in memories that are cherished

By a thief that made sure it seemed brief

Who we met that is special may we keep and when tomorrow comes

May 2016 bring more of those that will assure we will have no nightmares in our sleep

Goodbye 2015

Welcome 2015 part 2

The Truth In Typed Cursive.!

Dear, Friend, Foe, Ally and Lover of Reading

For the love of the super power that rules the heavens i am appealing for you to be considerate please. be a better you this year, yes it's this BS again, but bear in mind that this is important.

Some of you lead on people while perfectly knowing that you will end up breaking the persons heart after awhile, but you also know that you could have prevented that. Imagine a person you like letting you fall for them just to tell you " nah fam you have got zero chance". Be a person and not some heartless monster, also do not allow your time to be wasted be it dramatic, tell the person how you feel about being a bitch on demand and move on

Times change ey, do not be ruled by looks this is one thing most young girls still fail to understand, he is only handsome that far, and what about ambitions, goals a future, a will to succeed. Does he have that?, if you allow yourself to fall in a trap laid by someone that has no vision both of you will one day find yourselves on a crash and burn mission in the far future. yes you choose who you love but things are changing now, invest in someone that you know will be there for you in every way, maybe not now, but one day, believe.

People that have situations with their ex's, set the record straight, it might be ya'll are just talking but there is always one who eventually always wants the other back again. Don't put a person through that same pain that came from the separation no more, tell them the 411 and move on, if there is hope, let it be known, if there is none, still likewise. You might be meant for one another if you have been through a lot together and believe me you starting over with someone new is not easy, having to retell secrets, make new memories, create new special words, just start that road from the starting line once more, it is just not the same and it takes time and effort plus with every little heartbreak the ability to love fully is diminished a little more. So define your boundaries with your people if it can happen give one another that little hope that someday maybe BUT if you are done then so be it again.

Choose what you know is best for you. If it means leaving some people in the previous year do it. Do not have unnecessary contacts in your phone book if they are just there to add to the numbers, if someone does not vibrate on the same frequency as you, make peace with that and move on, you were not created to live in every individual you see or knows life. God created people for you just like he created your special person, do not force situations, let go and be emancipated from the worry of "but why does she/he or they not like me, understand that you cannot be everybody's favourite you are your own person,concentrate on making yourself an amplified upgraded version, eg if you were David last year this your make yourself DavidS like the iphone. Walk with people that know that you on about an make sure you achieve ad hoc.

That bad habit, be it smoking drinking, too much sex, disobedience,pride or whatever it is. Make changes with who you are and let go of what you subliminally know does not build you. Grow from your despair and thrive to slay. Leave behind what you know holds you back, that which stains your reputation, makes you a blacksheep. If it can be changed by you, alter it and modify yourself to be a person you can look up to, be your own icon, craft your own role model in your image, Very few situation give you happiness like the joy to be derived from achieving what other people say you can't or will never do. And ey if 3 beers get you drunk drink 2, if going out every weekend makes you broke real fast, go out once or twice a month. With the correct willpower those unwanted bad habits or guilty pleasures can become history, the change starts with you.

Yes it was long but congratulations if you reached this point, i cannot make you do as above mentioned but I hope what sunk in sunk deep. Try to live according to what you deem is righteous and good, you can have fun but do not lose yourself in the process, never forget who you are, where you come from and where you hope one day to be.